Like all other relationships, friendships also take work. Ignoring a friend you don’t get along with is difficult. It’s possible that you have a personal reason for ignoring it. There is no denying that ending a friendship can occasionally be more painful than ending a relationship. In actuality, a lot of friendships go through a natural life cycle.
People typically meet and become friends because of their shared experiences, such as their jobs, schools, single status, etc. Certain circumstances in our lives, as well as the people involved, eventually outgrow us. Unavoidably, there will be times when you decide that you do not want to make any more friends.
Letting go of a close friend reveals a lot about your life on a deeper level. And that is the most important thing.
In light of this, your actions won’t seem as irrational or cruel once you realize that losing friends is a sign of your development.
I can see why you might be reluctant to broach the subject, perhaps out of concern for your friend’s reaction. Here are some approaches to telling someone you don’t want to be friends any longer in that situation.
Table of Contents
1. Be Courteous
It’s possible that you’re no longer close, but that doesn’t give you permission to act rudely. Being cordial with your friend is a wise choice. It conveys your respect for both yourself and that person. The way you treat people often gives clues about how you treat yourself.
In an effort to break up with someone, being rude is wrong. Since you are finished with them, neither of you is rude to them. And who knows, you might run into that person again in the future. Therefore, the way you treated them in the past will either open or close doors for you.
2. Select the ideal moment and location.
Depending on how long you’ve been friends, how close you are, and how you two communicate most often, you’ll decide how to approach your friend and bring up the subject of breaking up. Make sure you pick a conversational setting, time, and approach that best serves the needs of your friendship, not just the one that feels comfortable or convenient for you.[1]
- Meet up in person if you’ve had a close friendship for a while. Try to arrange to meet in a location with some privacy. So that they can make time for you, let them know that you want to meet and discuss something important.
- Send them an email or give them a call if you’ve only recently become friends or if you typically communicate via phone or email.
3. Set Boundaries
By placing restrictions on their access to you, you can also end the friendship. You can tell a lot about a person’s relationship from the level of access they have to you.
Let’s examine an easy scenario. Since they are frequently seen together, Amy and Jonathan are widely recognized as friends. Amy and Jonathan are frequently spotted together, so you will undoubtedly see them whenever you see Amy. If you were an outsider watching this situation, you might assume that Amy and Jonathan are close friends. Alternatively, and this is not far from the truth, they might be dating. As a result, if Amy decides she no longer wants to be friends with Jonathan, she can restrict how the two of them interact.
No doubt, if Jonathan appears at an event without Amy, he will be faced with the question “Where is your best friend?”. Given that it is out of the ordinary for them, this is understandable. This is due to Amy’s new boundaries she’s established since their friendship ended. It will send a message across.
4. Gratitude
Don’t abruptly tell a friend you’re breaking up before giving them time to process it. This would be equivalent to throwing a bucket of ice water on a friend who is not expecting it. By expressing your gratitude to them, you can lessen the blow. There’s no denying that you two enjoyed some good times together. Please express your gratitude for that.
If you have the chance, spend time with him or her. Then sincerely thank them for the memories and for sharing your life. This can make the conversation less awkward so that you can concentrate on breaking the news of your breakup.
5. Avoid The Blame Game
Games of blame have never been helpful. If anything, it intensifies conflicts and breeds animosity between individuals. It is emotionally challenging to end a friendship. So avoid it to spare yourself the emotional strain. even if you believe that the relationship’s demise was caused by the other party. Never say it to him or her directly. Avoid the need to point the finger at them and say goodbye to your friendship positively.
6. Be Honest
Truthfulness is supposedly the best policy. But you must start with yourself before you can be honest with your friend. There’s a good chance that your friend will ask you to explain why you decided to part ways. You will respond to your friend when they ask you that question based on how honest you have been with yourself.
7. Show empathy.
Express understanding of how they might be feeling while acknowledging their feelings. Be compassionate and aware that they might be in pain. You should not immediately leave because you feel uncomfortable.
8. Listen To Them
Each and every relationship benefits from clear communication. However, talking is not the only aspect of it. Moreover, listening is involved. Healthy relationships develop in this way. Allow them to respond if they so choose after you’ve said everything you have to say. Any response or viewpoint that your friend may express deserves to be heard and respected.
For instance, permit them to express their outburst if they are upset by something you said. And if there is any way you can lessen the negative consequences of your choice, do so. Give your friend a sympathetic response and give him or her space to mourn the loss of their real friend.
9. Gain knowledge from the encounter.
Consider how you felt about the friendship and what you took away from it after some time apart from your friend. Consider the positive and negative aspects of your friendship, your friend’s annoying traits, and what you would do differently in the future.
10. Be Kind
Be kind about the process and let them know you don’t want to be friends. It is generally agreed that we are all built differently. We might not always have the same opinions. However, certain problems can lead to a rupture in cordial ties.
For example, there is the delicate subject of rape. Your friend may support it, but you may not. Without a doubt, you will argue about it the majority of the time, and you don’t believe you need a friend with such a mindset in your life. You will inevitably get into a disagreement about ending your friendship.
You might feel the urge to storm out of the conversation in anger. You can, however, approach everything with kindness and composure. Change the topic to something simpler. You don’t have to say goodbye in a depressing way.
Unfollow them on social media. Stop chatting with them online. Don’t like or comment on their posts or pictures. You can prevent people from seeing or commenting on anything you post by adjusting the privacy settings on your social media accounts. Think about removing them from your account or blocking them.
11. Perfect Timing
Timing is crucial; you don’t want to break up with a friend when it’s clear that something is upsetting him or her. Say a friend recently experienced the loss of a family member. It would be foolish to bring up the prospect of breaking up with your friend. It’s possible that you’ll end up making their emotional and mental condition worse.
Instead, be patient and offer assistance where necessary. Furthermore, drop the bombshell when you believe a suitable amount of time has passed and your friend is capable of handling the information. He or she might find your work there to be admirable.
12. Link Them Up To Other Friends
Perhaps you have other friends who adore this person for mutual reasons. They could therefore become close friends. Bring them together by acting as their matchmaker. They might end up becoming great friends, who knows? If your friend, however, isn’t interested, all you can do is pray that your ex-friend will be okay.
What You Can Do Right Now?
Prepare more before you go out to socialize by downloading our Tool Kit, which includes a mini-course, a social blueprint, and more. We think if you join our community or read a few more blog posts, you won’t be saying, “expressing your desire not to hang out.”
However, you’ll be more assured, prepared, and aware of your next move, particularly when it comes to interacting with others.